Should babies be trick or treating?

To all the sneaky parents of infants and toddlers out there, we've been found out.  The jig is up.  Apparently we're not fooling ANYONE.  The Internet knows why we're really trick-or-treating with our little person.

"...don't use your baby as a poor excuse to score candy because everyone will see right through you. Babies can't trick-or-treat."source

Umm excuse me, bitch, but how else am I supposed to get candy??  I'm an opportunist at heart, and not even a smart one.  Taking candy from my baby only happens once a year.   The only way I know how to get candy is to spend $50 on a costume (or better yet, spend hours making one), wrestle my screaming spawn into it, and parade them around the neighbourhood.

"honestly, the baby isn't going to eat that candy, it just feels like the parents looking for free candy and some ego stroking."source

LOOK AT MY ADORABLE BABY!!!!!  Now pay me for the spectacle with sugar.
Seriously, have you seen my child?  I don't need to put her in a costume to get my ego stroked.  She gets coo'd at the other 364 days of the year without needing to play dress up.

"I think it's ridiculous when parents bring around babies who are obviously not going to be eating that candy.  I'm fairly certain those parents just want the candy for themselves.  
Our son will be nearly one this Halloween and we are going to dress him up but only to take to his grandparents' and our neighbours that we're close to. NOT to get candy." source 

I hope if your grandparents accidentally try to give your little one a Hallowe'en treat, you smugly throw it back in their wrinkled old faces and say, "I'm an ADULT, I don't need your CANDY" (because I'm fairly certain they know the candy is actually for you).

"They [the babies] were just standing there drooling on themselves. What is up with that? These babies don't give a crap about Halloween! They won't even remember!" source 
Balderdash.  My one month old was the perfect 'prey' in our 'Spider and Fly' costume for her first Hallowe'en.  SHE came up with the idea to be a fly.  She made this clear to us when she started regurgitating her food on every surface of our home.  Sure, she couldn't say "Trick or Treat" yet, but she drooled and gurgled right in character.

Now please let me relate to you the real reasons we took our one month old--and a year later, our 13 month old--Trick-or-Treating.

Husband and I have always loved Hallowe'en.  Even before Little Poppet was born, we'd walk around the neighbourhood just to witness the fun and excitement of kids racing from door to door, gawk at the spectacle of Hallowe'en decorations, and laugh at the costumes.  I remember that October 2013 was cold, rainy and miserable.  Another couple in our apartment complex had just had their first baby--also a little girl--just a few weeks prior.  Since there was no trick-or-treating in our building, we'd agreed to go out with them to a local cafe on Hallowe'en night, walk around the neighbourhood, and try our best to give ourselves a little break the exhaustion of new parenthood.

It was one of the first times I'd even been out of the house with her since she was born.   With just 20 minutes to spare before we had to leave to meet our friends, I decided that Little Poppet and I would dress up.  I grabbed three pairs of black tights, stuffed them with garbage bags, wrapped some cheese cloth and wool around the Ergo carrier, and put some tinfoil bug eyes on Little Poppets hat.  She was my prey, and I was her hungry spider mum.  Sure, I could have made it look a lot better, but it was fun to throw together.  I remember that my feet were so swollen still from giving birth that I had to wear slippers with my costume.

We were excited new parents, and we had a lot to celebrate.  Little Poppet had just learned how to breastfeed, and we were finally allowed to sleep for 4 hour stretches between feedings.  More than anything, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops that my little girl was finally gaining weight.  And this was her first Hallowe'en!  Even though I knew she'd never remember it, I wanted very badly to be able to say to her that she has never missed a year of dressing up and parading around the neighbourhood.  She got plenty of giggles from other little trick-or-treaters, and we were greeted with warm smiles from every parent we encountered.  They'd all been there, and easily looked past my slippered feet and our dreary sleep-deprived faces.  They saw only our excitement and our joy.

Even though we didn't go door-to-door, Little Poppet inevitably got her very first Hallowe'en treat from the local baker (who was very creepily dressed with a flour sack mask and glowing red eyes).  I nearly cried when he handed me a confection for her.  I can't explain why it was so special, but it was.  I suppose because I knew it was the first treat of many many Hallowe'ens to come.

And yes, Husband and I split it at the coffee shop.  And it tasted sweet.

Finally, I'll share a quote from a wonderful young man (then 13 years old) that I think embodies the true spirit of All Hallow's Eve.

"I'm 13 and I went Trick Or Treating last night. I know a 28 year old who went (just him and his friends, not because he is a parent). Trick Or Treating is for anyone who wants to, you don't have to be a certain age. If you're 6 months old your parents can take you if they want to. If you're 60 years old it's not against the law to say "Trick Or Treat" and get candy. It's about having fun." source

Happy Hallowe'en, EVERYONE!

30 Old Person Names for your New Person

Names trends tend to be cyclic in nature.  Names that were popular 80+ years ago are getting dug back up (pun intended).  Some are a little too fresh from the old folks' home for my taste, but at the same time there's something adorable about picturing a toddling child with a name like Lilian or Fletcher.

But there are certain older names that remain in the grave and haven't really yet shown up in the baby name trends.  

So without further adieu, here is my list of not so popular Old Lady and Old Man names.  

Old Lady Names
  1. Agnes
  2. Alma
  3. Beatrice
  4. Beulah
  5. Constance
  6. Edith
  7. Edna
  8. Enid
  9. Ester
  10. Ethel
  11. Eugenia
  12. Fanny
  13. Florence
  14. Geraldine
  15. Gertrude
  16. Gladys
  17. Hortense
  18. Mabel
  19. Maude
  20. Meriwether
  21. Mildred
  22. Muriel
  23. Myrna
  24. Norma
  25. Pearl
  26. Prudence
  27. Rhoda
  28. Thelma
  29. Vera
  30. Winifred
Old Man Names
  1. Abe (Abraham)
  2. Albert
  3. Amos
  4. Archie (Archibald)
  5. Arnold
  6. Arthur
  7. Burt
  8. Cecil
  9. Clarence
  10. Claude
  11. Clifford
  12. Earl
  13. Ernest
  14. Eugene
  15. Eustace
  16. Fletcher
  17. Gus 
  18. Harold
  19. Harvey
  20. Herbert
  21. Horace
  22. Hubert
  23. Humphrey
  24. Leroy
  25. Milton
  26. Myrl
  27. Norman
  28. Oscar
  29. Walter
  30. Wilbur
Would you (or have you) name your baby anything from this list?  Is your name on this list (do you have Internet in your retirement home?)

Am I missing any?  What are your grandparents' or great grandparents' names? 

P.S. Please don't name your baby Dorkus.